It's a Wonderful Life

Today, a friend of mine and I were in a coffee shop, and we happened to eaves drop on a conversation a customer was having with the barista. I only caught this bit of what the customer was saying:

...No, not "merry." I'm married

My friend turned to me and said, "Somewhere, a linguist is getting their wings."

"How's the dissertation going?"

One of these days, I'll write a dissertation. It'll probably take me a little while, and well intentioned people who don't know any better will probably ask me how the process is going.

In preparation for that day, I've already prepared a response that captures the same anxiety, induces the same guilt, and perhaps calls the same pain to mind.

Well meaner:"So how's your dissertation going?"
Sufferer:"Oh, it's going good! How about you? How's your dental health doing?"

Hunting Seals Permitted

This is a nice little structural ambiguity:

http://www.livelyivy.com/?page_id=4&comic_id=58

Watch your wording.